Survival Football

So apparently the tie in the last survivor pool between myself and SinCityWolf was unsatisfactory. The Admirol left me a voice mail saying I should email my pick to the commish so we can break the tie. But I'm so proud of this pick that I'll post it here: the Miami Dolphins.

Aww silky silky!!!

Looks like I may have the Voodoo Cadillac on the ropes.
The Curse of the Favre appears to be overwhelming the Curse of the Forehead.

OK It's over!

Due to my inability to get any available tickets to the Army-Navy game, (family's contacts are actually going to the game) we will not be going. This is all my fault and I am pathetic for not making this happen. I feel great shame, and this adds another 3 months to not espousing the virtues of UF as I am a disgrace to the University. This makes it a total of 12 months between Don't taze me Guy, Erin Andrews vocabulary, Emmit Smith's ineptitude, and my inability to get Army/Navy tickets. Nine months remain on this total however.

More Handicapping Conundrums

The work contest this week has a free 200 point bonus pick. No penalty for an incorrect choice. The pick?

Navy -13.5 at Army

The line is just the right size to make a good argument for either side.

Not only am I watching this game with the RA; I'm dragging his poor East Coast ass to a bar at 9am to watch. My question for you is, just how pissed will he be if I choose Navy?

Play Offs

Do they start in 2 or 3 weeks?

Immediate thoughts on Mr. Taylor's demise.

So first off, the number of burglaries that happen in occupied homes = quite small.
The number of murders that happen between strangers = quite small.

This dude got whacked.

This is Interesting

Possibly the most exciting last week of fantasy football that I've ever seen. The only thing that would've made it better was if Big Ben failed to shit in his rain-soaked bed and then there was a five-way split for the play offs. All I can say is, Brett Farve completes me, he has saved me in every way that a Packers quarterback can save a man (5-0 as my starter).

Going into the half

The Commish is up 8.
Come on "D" !!!

11 minutes left -- Commish is up by 6 now.
Hopefully, Miami has at least 2 possession left to F-up.

Shit. Not only did the D not come through, Big Ben didnt pull enough puntas for the Lake Lizards to beat the Bakula.

Per the 'Uar -- In addition to an ambulance! HFS!

Taylor shot himself in the Jimmy!

Update: They have changed the story, and are now reporting he was shot in the Jimmy. Not that he shot himself.

Update 11/27: Umm lets just switch it to shot in the thigh and unfortunately he has passed on.

Crazy weekend of foosball.

It looks like, thanks to the Crows, that Mr. Pooler has lost.
Now, we just need Big Ben to not shit the bed and the 'Uar is taking an "L".

That leaves the Express vs. MPtH ver 2.0
Thanks to Donald Lee & Dwayne Bowe for strapping up for a combined 5 puntas.
The Commish is currently up 16, with Fast Willy on deck, who is expected to drop 13.
I have the Pitt D, which may or may not show up. So assuming Cleo Lemon gets shut out, sacked, picked, fumbles and gives up several sloppy TDs -- Im thinking this may be the 2nd closest game of the season that I once again end up losing.

Whatever happens, we have a three way tie for 2nd and a two way tie for 5th.

Next week, scratching and clawing for a playoff spots.
Express vs. the Voodoo Cadillac
MPtH ver 2.0 vs. Genuine Bakula
Sam Handwich vs. the giant killers // season destroying Lake Lizards

So this is what it feels like ....

To get bad calls going your way!
Go Pack.

Tebow for Heisman?

If anyone thinks someone else should win the Heisman, I'd be interested in opinions. A few stats just in case you aren't familiar.

51 Total touchdowns - 29 Passing, 22 Rushing. 3100+ yds Passing 800+ yds Rushing
- Shares the NCAA record for most rushing TD's by a QB (Should own that record with one game remaining)
- First player in NCAA history to pass and rush for 20+ TD's in a season (Should be 30/20 with one game remaining)
- Most total touchdowns in SEC History (I think some decent players have played in the history of the SEC but I'm not sure)
2nd in the country in Passing Effiency (Well they can't all be winners)
Florida leads the NCAA in 3rd down conversions. (If they need a conversion he makes the play)

Oh and when he breaks his hand during a game, he likes to play the rest of the game using that hand to stiff-arm 300lb Defensive Linemen

Best thing to come out of a crappy game.

Perhaps the best referee call of all time!

The Hyphen lighting up Shawne Merrimen

***
Apologies to the SCW for posting unwatchable videos

Go Buffs!

Shittiest National Championship in our lifetimes???

West Virginia Vs. Kansas???
Could it really be that bad?
Granted, Kansas is kind of exciting and scores a metric fuck ton of puntas, but KANSAS???

Now, Mizzu vs. WVU I can support.
Beeches.

Another idea for Pick Ups, Keepers & the Draft

Say you pick up Dwayne Bowe in week 12.
He can be kept with a 10th round pick.

My logic being, I want to keep Derek Anderson, and I'm trying to finagle some way to trick you gooney bastards into letting me keep him for a 4th round pick.

Live blogging the Detroit / Packers game

1st possession
Fucking Favre fucking fumbled.
How is he supposed to pass to "Craig" Jennings or Donald Lee, or get extra points kicked if HE DOESNT THROW THE FUCKING BALL!!!

2nd possession
3 & out.

3rd possession.
3 & out.

END OF FIRST FUCKING QUARTER.

Interception of Kitna, 4th possession
There we go!! 7 points for Jennings, 1 for the kicker!!!

5th possession - 80 yards to go !!! 15 total possible pnts!!!
NO!!! YOU SUM BEECH! Quit throwing to Donald Driver!
15 total points - I got 1.

6th posssesion
3 & out. Who the fuck is K. Hall and why is he getting my yards???

7th possession - 80 yards to go !!! 15 total possible pnts!!!
There's 1! And another to D. Lee - stopped at the 2!!!
Field Goal !!!

Going into halftime -- 14 points. Nice.

2nd Half
8th possession - 80 yards to go !!! 15 total possible pnts!!!
Fucking Donald Driver is KILLING ME!!! He's got 100 yds already.
That and the fact Favre has gone to 7 fucking receivers.
NICE!!! Jennings gets his 2nd TD!!! +1 Point After!!!
21 pts. so far.
(As an aside, why did I not pick Hanson back up after his bye???)

9th possession - 80 yards to go !!! 15 total possible pnts!!!
2 for Jennings. Fuck! Who is R. Martin and why is he stealing my points!!! Oh well. Crosby hits the PAT. That gives me the 24 I wanted from this game.
Everything else = gravy. Hopefully they'll start short passing & take FGs.

10th possession - 66 yards to go!!! 13 total possible pnts! Whats it gonna take to get Donald Driver out of the fucking game !

This is it - 4th Quarter!!! Light it up, beeches!
Excellent - Good hold by Detroit ! Crosby hits the FG!

Shit - gotta convert on 3rd if you plan to runt he ball, beeches.

BEST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS!!!
Detroit drives down, within 8 - now GB has to drive & score.
Excellent. Another 2 pts for Greg Jennings!
Fucking perfect - Detroit stops Grant at the 1!
FG is good!!!

Looks like 31 or 32 pts.
Nice

Calvin Johnson and the riddle of the Keeper

So I dropped Calvin. If I pick him up, am I able to keep him using the slot I drafted him at, or am I FitA ? What What ??? In da butt.

Thats right. I did it. Again.

Dwayne Bowe is back on the Express.