With the majority of the action being over for the day...

The scores are as follows:

OTN - 57 (Brady has yet to play)
MPTH2 - 76 (all her bullets are shot up)

TSE - 76 (if this matchup was a dog, it would have been shot a long time ago)
LL - 54

GB - 78 (this one comes down to NE's D)
SH - 75

VC - 39 (umm, yeah, the less said about this match up, the better)
SC - 65

Update on scores?

Scores after afternoon games. Need to know how much Sam Hand needs from NE Def to win if he hasn't already won. Yes I'm too lazy to count them up myself.

Calvin is O.U.T. out for the Bears game.

Curses.

Vegas Lines

I found this buried on page 12 of the sports section in USA Today:

Offensive Team Name -10 MustProtectThisHouse2
With Clinton Portis and Santana Moss on byes and Ahman Green injured the War of the Roses figures to tilt heavily in favor of OTN. Plus Tom Brady is playing against Cincinnati so he should be good for 30+ points.

Sam Handwhich -4 Genuine Bakula
Luckily for GB, Reggie Bush is on a bye so he won't be in the lineup earning 4 points. He will be replaced by Thomas Jones, who will most likely score in double digits against a weak Buffalo run defense. Unfortunately for GB, Andre Johnson is injured and that could make the difference this week.

Voodoo Cadillac Smallville Crows NO LINE
Vegas is refusing to release odds on any Voodoo Cadillac games until the curse of Brett Favre is lifted. Legend has it that anyone who dumps Favre from his roster before the first week of the season will remain winless until amends are made.

Rear Admir0l/Spooney Love -15 Lake Lizards
With Rudi Johnson out and Larry Johnson sucking it up royally for the Lizards, it appears that Polar Express has the best shot of remaining the only undefeated team in the league. Maybe Spooney was baiting everyone with his performance last year?

The trevails of being a Bengals fan

CINCINNATI -- Paul Brown Stadium officials want permission to shoot down pigeons that are pooping on Bengals fans' heads -- and in their food and beer -- during games. Eric Brown, managing director of the stadium, sent a letter asking the city to allow stadium employees to kill the birds with an air-powered pellet rifle.

I finally got around to naming my team.

The Spooner Express.
See, its a play on Midnight Express, only I'm Susan and you guys are all Billy.
Except for YMPtHv2.0, cause thats just gross.

Ok, so its a play on Polar Express.
Suck it, beeches.

Welcome to the team, Week 6 stop-gappers.

Derek Anderson, Cleveland @ Miami
Derrick Ward, NYG @ Atl
Kevin Curtis, Philly @ J.E.T.S. JETS JETS JETS

Best available, but the Cadillac is still gonna stomp my shit.

Its that time of the week: The ShitTalkExpress

Several of my players & Coach P's are juxtaposed this week:
NE & Cincy -- It looks like Coach P finally decided to start Carson, so hopefully NE can shut down the run and Palmer goes nuts passing to the Housh!

Indy & Denver -- Coach P has the Indy Defense, so the best I can hope for is an a Denver run / Indy pass & run shoot out like theres no tomorrow.

The Chiefs are @ the Bolts, so every play they stop Tony G is doubly great.
Stop him in the 2nd half boys!

Calvin is slated to play @ Chicago. Go long Kitna, just not to Roy!
Carnell travels to Carolina for his first game as an Spooney.
Dont fumble, jackass.

We need to hope the following defenses man up and prove they got brass ones:
Philly, Buffalo, Tampa and Pittsburgh.

Injury updates relevant to Coach P: Burress, Bolden, Cotchery and Johnson all injured, uncertain.

Not looking ahead too far, but next week would be a crushing, bruising battle of the undefeated, if I make it past Coach P and MPtHv2.0 gets past OTN.

Fear The Blazer

Tell your friends I was there when the Chancellor unveiled a new university logo (this is for real): "Fear the Blazer."

So that's the problem!

Put the Harvard kid Fitzpatrick in.

Bulger continues to play with two broken ribs.

Not only am I the lowest scoring 2 - 0 team...

Except for Fraudulent Bukaka, I am the lowest scoring Ironic Title-ist .

I'm checking now to see who had the Deuce

The Saints running back will miss the rest of the NFL season after tearing his left anterior cruciate ligament Monday.

Looks like we all dodged that bullet.

Its a good thing I already took a bite ...

of the Sam Handwich.

Jackson will miss at least one week with a partial tear of his left groin, an injury sustained in the fourth quarter of Sunday's 24-3 loss at Tampa Bay.

Ouch.
As someone who is currently experiencing a partial tear of my right groin, I gotta tell ya, that shit ain't enjoyable.

I just want to thank the 'Uar for benching #25

Otherwise, I would be F-ed in the A.
Gracias, mi amigo.

Waivers, beeches.

TE L.J. Smith (groin) is not likely to play Week 4. Smith underwent a procedure Friday, Sept. 21, to remove scar tissue and fluid from his groin.

AND IN OTHER NEWS

Sep 24 Coach Romeo Crennel said that Winslow came out of Week 3 with a bruised shoulder, the Browns' official site reports.

Recommendation: Winslow wore an ice pack on the shoulder Monday but didn't say anything more about the injury than "I'll be alright." We'll let you know if this turns into anything that might affect his availability for Sunday's game against the Ravens

AND IN OTHER NEWS

Lions coach Rod Marinelli said tests only showed bad bruising, and Johnson was moving very gingerly at the team's practice facility on Monday. Marinelli said he considers Johnson "day to day".
******************************


Welcome aboard, Mr. Watson.
Grab some pine, Winslow.

Unless Marquis Colston has 4 fumbles, I'm a lock.

Suck it, Bakula!

Lake Lizard, prepare to be pwned!

Here are my thoughts on the leaky assed Bolts D.
Next week is KC.
Minnesota, the best available D, has Green Bay next week.
I'll take the woeful Chiefs vs. the virile Packers any day.

Sigh.

So, Deshaun Foster fucked me.

OTN - 104 everything works great until Carolina takes a lead into the 4th and they just keep handing the fucking ball to DeShaun Foster
LL - 112


Admir0l - 78, hanging on!
Bakula - 67

MPTH2 - 90 not much has changed from early on, the little lady keeps beating the drum!
SC - 69

VC - 72
SH - 11ty billion - Jeezus, if this was a fight, they would have stopped it in the first round.

After the early games, here's where we stand

OTN - 92 on the strength of both Westbrook and Brady...
LL - 58, thanks to Anquoin Bouldin

Admir0l - 43, with Indy carrying the load (Addai and Manning)
Bakula - 36, when neither of your leading scorers gets in the end zone, that's a bad sign

MPTH2 - 56, John Kitna and Willie Parker toeing the line
SVC - 47, LDT starting to turn it around, although he's still trade bait

VC - 72, the good news, D. McNabb is a very angry black QB who scored 29 points
SH - 81, the bad, Mr. Pooler had both Roy Williams and Adrian Peterson, while not angry, still scored a buttload of points..

Is it too early to be worried....

about the Bolts "D"?

If they muck it up this weekend, they're OUT.

Suck it Beeches C.J. makes the big time!

Thats right-> USA Today

RB For Moss?

I'm entertaining Running Back trades for the Wide Receiver of your choice. For your Buc, trades for Randy Moss will go the furthest.

Televised games on Sunday.

Looking like this (unless you have the Sunday Ticket package, in which case you can go to hell, you can go to hell and die, unless you want to invite me over to watch the games, then that's cool, unless you have cats, in which case ycgth, ycgthad):

1:00 - San Diego @ Green Bay (CBS)
1:00 - St. Louis @ Tampa Bay (FOX)
4:30 - Carolina @ Atlanta (FOX)
8:15 - Dallas @ Chicago (NBC)

Is it too early to be concerned about ....

Marquis Colston?

The fact that Ronald Curry is -||- close to him in rankings has me a bit worried.

I'll give him this weekend, then he goes on the Week 6 Purge.

So its me and the star of Quantum Leap this week.

Current line is 103 / 100 for the Admir0l.

The only saving grace -- The Bolts "D" is up against Old Fun 'n Gun, up north in Cheeseland.
Tack on about 5 interceptions pour moi!
Contrawise, the 'Uar did take a good defense in a weak division. Miami will see the Bills & Jets twice each. Curses!

Hopefully, Mario forgets to take his pain shots and Peyton & Joseph light up the Houston D.
Also, mad props to the Arizona Defense and the Safeties for Oakland (not their linebackers though - let Winslow run wild! )

We already know how horrible Philly is, so here's to Calvin Johnson and 130 yards, 2 TDs.

Alrighty, the big decision this week

Cadillac is playing @ St. Louis, but T Henry is @ Jville.

Henry, who has yet to score a touchdown, has never rushed for 100 yards in six games against the Jaguars. He had 100 on 31 carries in two games against them last season for Tennessee.

Who to start?
Ahhh... Another Poll!!!

OR
Do I bench Addai, going up against the Texans D, and start Cadillac???

Help me Tom Cruise!!!

You have absolutely got to be shitting me!!!

Offensive Team Name WON??????
WTF?
How in the shit did that happen?
So maybe the 'Uar and Mr. Pooler should BOTH have fire sales....

Weekly Recap!

Well, week 1 is in the books, and for 4 of us it was awesome, and for 4 others...eh, not so much.

The story of the weekend was teams jumping out to big leads and then doing their absolute best to hold on. The Admir0l looked as if he was cruising against Mr. Pooler until the SD defense decided to completely crap the bed against the Pats, and the Pats D shut down LDT and company giving Pooler's squad an outside shot at overtaking the Admir0l heading into Monday night. Had Chris Cooley only caught 3 more TD passes on Monday evening it could have been a different story for Sam Handwich at the end of the first week.

Elsewhere, G.P. trailed Coach P all Sunday afternoon; however, popular opinion was that with LDT coming up in the late game any and all deficits, would be easily erased by one of his standard performances. Unfortunately, LDT just couldn't get going and G.P. held a slim lead going into Monday night's game where he had both his defense and his kicker playing. After some talk of shenanigans from other league memebers(pulling his D to avoid a negative tally), the Crows played it straight (no chaser) and cruised to an easy victory.

Speaking of easy victories, the voice of reason version 1.0 absolutely stomped our boy TrayDee this weekend. It was never close, even with Randy Moss destroying the SD secondary. The less said about this match up, the better.

Finally, in the weekend's most exciting match, I managed to squeak out a tight victory of the musky, Victor Mature like scent of Pure Bakula. After being down around 70 points after the early games, only Miami's -3 points on D gave me any hope. But (and this seems to be a recurring element in all of Sunday's matchups) the NE/SD tilt played a large role in my attempted comeback. Tom Brady having a big game, and Antonio Gates catching what turned out to be a crucial touchdown (for me at least), gave me a little glimmer of hope heading into Monday. Down 11, I had both Reggie Brown and Brian Westbrook going; unfortunately, neither broke the plane, but BW had enough yards to earn me 15 points. That, coupled with RB's two huge points, gave me a 6 point win and the largest comeback in league history.

Good times, good times.

*Standings to be added later, can't access FF from work*

Just a heads up to those interested, normally there is some football watching that happens at our casa; the usual cast of characters are: myself, the Admirol, the little lady (and now the baby resting inside of her), although all are welcome to join. Also, if anyone is interested in going out to catch a game or two somewhere, we may be able to arrange something.

How can you give up on a UF guy already?

It's only week 3! He only "tweaked" his back! He should be ready for Sunday! Of course the fact that he's got Alex "Tiny Hands" Smith lobbing the ball to him may have something to do with that. Got to have a little faith my boy, he'll turn it around.

Smallville Crows

So, the Smallville Crows are holding a one-point lead but their defense plays tonight. Does the capt'n pull the defense to avoid a negative score?

Actual quote wrt Pats / Bolts game

"They just jumped on us like a spider monkey," San Diego fullback Lorenzo Neal said.



3:44 to be exact!

We have our 2nd poll, bottom of page.

Also, making everyone admins so you can add polls, etc...

Greatest comeback evah?

Not me, of course; I'm fucked like an altar boy.

But Mr. Pooler, with the help of the NE defense, is staging quite the impressive run, pulling him to within 8 of our boy da Admir0l.

***Note: Change the time settings so that we're not on West Coast time***

My opinion

Someone needs to pick up the Dallas D.

Make it Stop

Please make her team stop beating the crap out of me before the slaughter rule kicks in.

In a re-hash of last years AFC semifinals

The Bolts @ the Pats. Sunday.
That should be quite enjoyable.
Hopefully my stomach will have settled down by then.

What color should my Brady Quinn jersey be?

I'm thinking orange, but I could probably be talked into the white one (I'm afraid people might mistake me for a KLUMSO? fan as opposed to the proud owner of Mr. Quinn on my fantasy team).

It's either that or a 'The Hyphen' jersey; and with him only getting 37 yards last week...

Plus Quinn's just dreamy.

Notice the link to the Yahoo Page on the sidebar

Notice the poll @ the bottom of the page

Vote early, vote often.

Brett Favvv-ray

Whose idea was it to draft me Brett Farve, anyways? It sounds like a plot to ruin my franchise from a hyper-competitive owner.

I dont have Coach P's address to invite him

Anyone? Anyone?

Now, Gee has been left on-board as our unbiased observer, to bring down the Ban Hammer on any OT posts.
Foosball only, beeches.